I let out quite a chuckle when I saw this picture. I’ve been there and I’ve made that face.
*Disclaimer* This blog is not meant to imply that teachers do not appreciate learning. It is also not intended to imply that we are ‘lazy’, ‘unprofessional’ or the like. We wouldn’t be in education if we didn’t appreciate its value. What we don’t appreciate is receiving the exact same training year after year. That’s not Professional Development. That’s insulting. As far as those looking for examples on what could be done during In-Service, please read my other blog entitled ‘Get on the Bus’. Any and all comments which use bad language, insult another who comments by name calling, etc. will not be posted. *
It got me to thinking…teachers are required to attend Inservice “training” before school. It’s always dreaded and I, personally, would rather have a cavity filled than sit 3 days in a hard wooden chair, rehashing the same things year after year after year after…you get the picture. What if teachers were in change of Inservice? What would we do away with if we could suggest anything and people in charge would listen? Ohhh, the possibilities…..
1. Please do not give us binders full of materials we will probably never use because YOU (the planner) attended a training and decided it was awesome. Honestly, just give us an empty binder. That’s what is going to happen anyway. We listen to your synopsis, trying our best not to roll our eyes or poke the person next to us, and then, when it’s over, in the hidden comfort of our room, we are going to throw away these copies and use the binder. Save a tree. Just give us the binder, say you went to a conference and let’s move on. Time saved: 1 hour.
2. Please do not read your PowerPoint presentation to us. At some point in time, we’ve all proven we are literate. Also, doubly, please do not put said PowerPoint presentation in aforementioned binder we will not use. Just don’t. Time saved: 30 minutes.
3. No, we do not want to change how we teach AGAIN because so and so came out with a new technique which looks familiarly like the one we used several years ago until a new technique came out and we used that. And for goodness sakes, please, please, we don’t need another laminated copy of Bloom’s taxonomy. Nope. Time saved: Up to a day. Literally.
4. I like my coworkers, and heck, I even love some that I’ve known a while, but I don’t want to hold yarn in a shape with them and throw a ball around until it falls through a hole. You REALLY want work place bonding? Break us into groups, give us a list of clues and tell us there’s a pay raise hidden somewhere on campus. Oh yeah, you’ll see some bonding, and some true colors come out. Time saved: 1 hour, We’re bonded and richer
5. What we despise? Really, really loathe. Think-Pair-Share = No. You know what’s going to happen? You think we’re sitting around talking about your binder, and your PowerPoint (in the binder) and how much we loved the yarn activity, when really, we’re talking about where we’re going to for lunch. You can call on us and we’ll make something up on the fly that sounds relevant if you need us to do that. We’re teachers, remember? We are experts of thinking off the cuff. We’re still throwing away your binder, and now we know we’re having Mexican food for lunch. You can’t come. Time saved: 30 minutes.
6. Why ask us what the Campus Mission Statement and goals should be if the Mission Statement and goals have not changed in 20 years? Hand us a copy, we’ll grunt in agreement, and we’re done. Please don’t give us a copy and ask us to Think-Pair-Share with the group about these things. We care about as much as the students care that the floors are waxed. Time saved: At least an hour.
7. We know you want us to get into the groove ASAP with our ISPs and our plans for those in DAEP and ISS. We see we have scheduled ARDs or have paperwork on students that have a BIP. We also need to look at our STAAR scores, but the 411 is that we are A-OK with actually saying the words. Time saved: Not really applicable, but at least everyone can keep up with what’s being said.
And last, but not least…
8. We are not statisticians. Some of us may be able to do statistics under threat, but what we really want to know, in caveman speak even, is ‘You do good’ or ‘You do bad’. That’s it. We are relatively easy to please. Please do not hand us copies of every single test ever taken in the last 15 years and ask us to create and graph the distribution. This is when we suddenly get an ‘urgent’ phone call, or stomach troubles. (By the way, we’re all hanging out in the bathroom, rolling our eyes, heavily sighing, and walking very, very slowly). Time saved: 1 hour
marvelous teacher musings 
I just can’t even begin to say how much this made me laugh! This is so me and my teacher friends. Especially #5 is SO me… those last 2 lines!!!
This is really funny. I laughed the entire time I was reading it. This is so true.
Ann siepker
I sat through an inservice today, I got a binder full of stuff, had a powerpoint read to me, did a lot of think-pair-share, read the mission statement, went over data, and had a whole bunch of the educational “ABC’s” thrown at me. This made me laugh it is so true! Oh and we sat on cafeteria benches for six hours 😦 Didn’t even get to leave for lunch because the district gave us bread and cold cuts….
Love it! Applies to college-level also. . .
As a former teacher, I am still laughing out loud! How true all of the above are! Great, great blog! Cheers
This is too funny!!!
As a 30+ veteran , all I can say is amen and amen!
WOw-awesome! Now imagine me at our charter School inservice for 12 days!! yes-that’s how many days we do all of what you just pointed out! No working in your room planning getting ready fir the students!
I am still giggling about the Bloom’s Taxonomy one! I’ll bet money I get a new colored poster for the start of the year. LOL
LOVED THIS!!!! thank you. Except, our school makes turn our binders back in at the end of school so they can replace all the papers for the next year. So, I am always hunting for the binder at the end of they year trying to figure out where I put it after the week and a half of inservice. Because we all know we haven’t looked at it since August.
This made my day. I think I sat by you during inservice!!
This is hilarious and so true! Thank you.
I just retired, but I laughed and heaved a sigh of relief after this one! Been there; done that; got the t-shirt; broke the mug.
OMG…another copy of Blooms Taxonomy….ha ha!
I’ve got news for Bloom’s Taxonomy; it’s going to be superceded by brain research. I kid you not!! I’m always looking at more fun, quick, efficient ways to get the kids(HS) to get all kinds of math. For the past couple of years, there are specific strategies for teaching, based on new (really!!) brain research. If I’m smart, I’ll make and copyright a bright colored poster…. 8D
You left out the Office of Civil Rights (OCR) briefing because after all, teachers don’t understand that students are different with different needs and abilities. Our OCR (Office of Cranial Regression) brief talked about various disabilities – problems with the nervous system, the digestive system, and my personal favorite, “the indoctrine system.”
I’m headed to a 2 day inservice 2 hours away from home, no compensation-7 days post knee op! I needed the chuckle! I’m wearing a dress so I can show my wounds if needed, comfy shoes, and putting my leg up if needed! Seek to understand-then to be understood=not this time! It’s all about me for alittle while this year! I’m mending well, just can’t sit too long, stand too long, or climb stairs fast right now, but I will run circles around you soon!!lol
Very true! In-Service training should revolve around what teachers believe they need further training in – this way they will be more enthusiastic about the content!
It’s interesting as to how similar these are to what many students comments would be on most teachers lesson planning for classes.
I DO NOT miss mandatory in-service programs. What is fun now is to select life-long learning events that TEACH me something new and that are useful in my life. Fran B
Retired after 30 years of teaching and you hit all the nails on the head. Give us time to learn how to do the new grade book that seems to change in some way, every year!!
That is awesome!!! We had Italian…lol
I agree with Kristie that #5 is the best. I hate so much when we have to group ourselves and share or work things out. Ever noticed that we talk about other things until the presenter strolls over to our table and then all of a sudden we’re sounding like we’re really into it?
You nailed it!
Corporate America does the same routine with “Training Seminars.” These Inservice “Trainers” don’t care anymore about what they’re selling than you teachers care to pretend you’re being engaged.
So tell them. Directly. To their face. You’re teachers, right? You don’t know how to control an unruly class? Maybe that’s why it’s thought you need training. Look at it like a test.
Okay, so it’s their J.O.B. to train. They then need to be told to do their job correctly. They need to be told, right after the first insult to your and each of your colleagues’ intelligence, and that, further, you will not be made to feel forced to endure one more mindless, lazy rehashing of what was ill-conceived in the first place. Stand up “for the class” and tell the person who had been droning on at you with charts and graphs for stage props that when s’he gets his’er act together, to then, in future, “Remember who you’re speaking to, [Missy/Sonny].” Then turn deliberately towards the main (not the nearest) exit and do so with grace and dignity. You may just become the head of a long conga line.
And when the duty hits the superintendent’s fan, “Seriously? We all thought, surely, this has to be a test.” The board failed. If the conga line was long enough, the teachers will have passed and the administrators may end up, themselves, in Re-education Camp 101.
And don’t laugh it off with an “I wish.” Teach us something.
I actually somewhat cut this off at the pass; our district just loves a particular trainer in math. What he did was pretty interesting the first time around. The second time, it was a blow-by-blow implementation where the staff of the trainer came out to our schools, and told us how & what to do. We did as much as we could, while explaining what we would not do and why. Ultimately, enough schools did this and complained to the district (and wrote volumous feedback on the end of training forms), that it quit.
Fast forward, 3 years later, same trainer, same strategy, “new” recycled training on common core. Every math dept needs a representative. I was asked by the district to attend as a leader. Nope, And I told them why. Then I was approached by my dept chair; I actually love new training; I had one of the first trainings on common core math, on my own time and money, by the county!!! Nope. And I told him why. And I told him no, 3 more times. I’m not wasting my time and energy listening to this guy, and the same stories, examples, strategies.
Guess what!! I didn’t go!!!
And no lie, our entire faculty spent hours – revamping the wording of our mission statement and school goals. EVERY WORD!! We had entire committees devoted to specific sections of the mission statement and goals statement. And we had do analyze almost every word – just like in the picture in #6. It’s been a number of years since we had to do that, but the memories are still so vivid.
Don’t do this and don’t do that…with no options or suggestions. Where’s your focus on learning?
Read “Get On The Bus” for suggestions on what makes a good Inservice.
“sit… in a hard wooden chair, rehashing the same things year after year after year after…”, funny, that’s how I felt about history class. It was like nothing ever happened past WWII.
All of your arguments are the same problems I had as a student in the institutional education system. Yet somehow, it’s okay to put children through meaningless, repetitive exercises wherein they have no stake or agency, but we are shocked to think anyone would do such a thing to adults.
As a former teacher, who may now be going back to it as the stay at home mom years are almost behind me, I loved this post!!!!
Hilarious in that it’s so true! Thanks!
Your list was everything we as teachers think as we “sit and get”. I wish they would be fun,engaging and hands-on, just like they(administrators) want us to be in our classrooms. I am a learner also!
Touche, applicable to about 99% of continuing professional education. You eloquently (and humorously) wrote what we all have thinking for years. Good job!
At this point of my career I just zone out and plan dinner. the less I say, the better. It all comes out with a tinge of sarcasm or shock at another “new” idea. I just keep doing what I know works.
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As a retired high school principal, I can relate to each situation. Whatever happened to “personal” professional development. At the secondary level, it is impossible to find a topic or presentation that touches every core subject let alone the fine arts, business, vocational and performing arts.
Thank you, sir, for understanding how frustrating it is to be a fine arts teacher, but have to sit through day after day of inservices about math and reading testing! I just want to do professional development that will make my band sound better!
I never enter an in service without a huge bag of M&Ms to share with my table group. I can endure anything with enough chocolate!
Oh spot on! Those things really blow! We would all rather be in our rooms getting ready for the kids. Or throwing away all the stuff from last in-service that’s still cluttering up our desks.
Haha! As a Math teacher for the past 23 years, number 3 is dead on! I’m so tired of being told to change how I teach, and I DO recognize all the new methods as something I was told to stop doing at some point…paradigms are cyclical…aargh!
Oh heavens, I laughed so hard! The yarn activity! We usually plot how we’re actually going to use that yarn! One friend of mine actually brought knitting needles! The presenter gave her a dirty look. Totally worth it!
You should check out Lesson Study for PD!
LOVED, LOVED, LOVED this!! Oh Lordy, how you nailed this on the head. This inservice meeting nonsense has been going on for YEARS and years, and ALL teachers despise giving up what’s left of our summer break to sit through boring crap that we already know, let alone much of what they’re espousing won’t work with our students. The old adage “If it’s not broke, don’t fix it” applies many times.
I retired in January 2005 from teaching for 22 years (no, I did NOT finish the school year — I just wanted the heck out at that point). Believe me, I do NOT miss the inservice, staff development, and endless “MANDATORY” after school meetings throughout the year (not to mention the meetings during our conference periods!). But I DO miss teaching and the students. Every teacher hopes they make a difference in their students’ lives. Many of my former students have “found” me on Facebook or the phone book. I’ve been invited to school carnivals, high school and college graduations. For me, this validates that point.
I’m not a teacher but your points also apply to business. The terms & lingo may be different but the truths are the same especially #2. If all you’re going to do is read to me but think the content is important, send me an email w/the presentation attached. I probably won’t read all of it, but, hey, you got the info out there & can now pat yourself on the back. Good job!
The Mission Statement cartoon looks like educator’s playing Mad Libs. Even though it has been 41 years, I remember this from when I was a junior high school math teacher
so cynical.
Stunningly simple (to teachers) and so TRUE! LOL! Great ones. We have come up with more!
My family has many teachers, my beloved sister is the best, and she sent this to express why each year she has to find the strength to deal with the amount of useless training, regulations, and wasted time and effort the district requires. My sister is an amazing, dedicated teacher who loves teaching students. After years of teaching she still has to deal with administrators who are more interested in placating ignorant parents, and lazy, self indulgent students. I pray your blogs help people like her know her feelings are not out of the norm.
Spot on!
Thank you so much!!! And a huge thumbs up on #5.
Oh, how this made me splutter with laughter. I now teach online (adult learners) in refresher English and regularly attend online staff meetings that include much of this. Love, love, love this.
Author, The S.A.V.E. Squad series, ages 8-12
http://thesavesquad.com
We’ve made bingo cards with current educational jargon in the squares. As we sat in inservice meetings, we played a silent form of Bingo with the people at our table. It was a blast. It made time go by faster. Candy prizes! Hope the principal didn’t realize. Maybe I’ll make some for the meetings that start next week.
Ours doesn’t start until Aug 28; I’m gonna do this; we’re usually in plastic seats in rows, but we’ll all have a binder/folder when we walk in….
In Texas we call it Bull$#/+ Bingo. I know of some band directors that have had the nerve to pull this off. You use words like, “differentiated instruction”, “paradigm”, “content mastery”, “STAAR”, “ARD”, “IEP”, “Bloom’s Taxonomy”, etc. The first one that fills a line hollers, well, you know…..