Funny Things Kids Ask and Say: Episode 1 of a Gazillion

I consider interacting with my students to be one of the best aspects of my job.  Every now and then, I am also treated to a great laugh.

Despite thinking they ‘know everything’, 8th graders are at their best when they feel comfortable enough to be honest.  Here are some of the best questions and statements I have heard in my class in the past few years. Yes, these are real, and yes, you should all get a good chuckle.

Sun-Rays-Through-The-Clouds-Colorful

Me: Let’s look at the root word for ‘Radiation’. We have the word ‘ray’. What does that make you think of?

Student (very excited, hand waving): My Uncle!!

orville-redenbacher

Me: We talked about Chernobyl the other day.  Can anyone give us a recap?

Student: Doesn’t he make popcorn?

Me: Are you thinking about Orville Redenbacher?

Student: Yeah!…wait….No, I don’t know anything. Never mind.

thCA2BY4FZ

Student was flicking at a poster of Uranus on the wall above his head.

Me: Please quit playing with…….uh, Jupiter

(remembering at the last moment that the students pronounced the planet as ‘Ur-anus’ and I didn’t want the class to be disturbed with a chuckle)

Student 2, loudly: He’s not playing with Jupiter! He’s playing with Uranus!

-Class was pretty much over after that-

thCAA0WIGG

Written on my “What If and Funny Statements” Wall:

If you say the words ‘beer can’ with a British accent, it sounds like you’re saying ‘bacon’ like you live in Jamaica.

(Go ahead and try it. You know you want to)

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Student: If you were missing a toe, would you still wear a flip-flop?

garlic-rice

Student: What kind of rice is this? (points to menu)

Menu reads:        Orange Glazed Chicken

         Over Rice

Hope you enjoyed these few. I have many, many more that I’ll share as I go along.

Hope everyone has a great weekend and remember, no matter what your career or what you do,  take time to laugh!

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If Teachers Planned Inservice Training…

Team Work

I let out quite a chuckle when I saw this picture. I’ve been there and I’ve made that face.

*Disclaimer* This blog is not meant to imply that teachers do not appreciate learning. It is also not intended to imply that we are ‘lazy’, ‘unprofessional’ or the like. We wouldn’t be in education if we didn’t appreciate its value. What we don’t appreciate is receiving the exact same training year after year. That’s not Professional Development. That’s insulting. As far as those looking for examples on what could be done during In-Service, please read my other blog entitled ‘Get on the Bus’. Any and all comments which use bad language, insult another who comments by name calling, etc. will not be posted. *

It got me to thinking…teachers are required to attend Inservice “training” before school. It’s always dreaded and I, personally, would rather have a cavity filled than sit 3 days in a hard wooden chair, rehashing the same things year after year after year after…you get the picture.  What if teachers were in change of Inservice? What would we do away with if we could suggest anything and people in charge would listen? Ohhh, the possibilities…..

Yellow_binder

1. Please do not give us binders full of materials we will probably never use because YOU (the planner) attended a training and decided it was awesome.  Honestly, just give us an empty binder. That’s what is going to happen anyway. We listen to your synopsis, trying our best not to roll our eyes or poke the person next to us, and then, when it’s over, in the hidden comfort of our room, we are going to throw away these copies and use the binder. Save a tree. Just give us the binder, say you went to a conference and let’s move on. Time saved: 1 hour.

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2. Please do not read your PowerPoint presentation to us.  At some point in time, we’ve all proven we are literate.  Also, doubly, please do not put said PowerPoint presentation in aforementioned binder we will not use. Just don’t. Time saved: 30 minutes.

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3. No, we do not want to change how we teach AGAIN because so and so came out with a new technique which looks familiarly like the one we used several years ago until a new technique came out and we used that. And for goodness sakes, please, please, we don’t need another laminated copy of Bloom’s taxonomy. Nope. Time saved: Up to a day. Literally.

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4. I like my coworkers, and heck, I even love some that I’ve known a while, but I don’t want to hold yarn in a shape with them and throw a ball around until it falls through a hole. You REALLY want work place bonding? Break us into groups, give us a list of clues and tell us there’s a pay raise hidden somewhere on campus.  Oh yeah, you’ll see some bonding, and some true colors come out. Time saved: 1 hour, We’re bonded and richer

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5. What we despise? Really, really loathe. Think-Pair-Share = No.  You know what’s going to happen? You think we’re sitting around talking about your binder, and your PowerPoint (in the binder) and how much we loved the yarn activity, when really, we’re talking about where we’re going to for lunch. You can call on us and we’ll make something up on the fly that sounds relevant if you need us to do that. We’re teachers, remember? We are experts of thinking off the cuff. We’re still throwing away your binder, and now we know we’re having Mexican food for lunch. You can’t come. Time saved: 30 minutes.

Mission statement

6. Why ask us what the Campus Mission Statement and goals should be if the Mission Statement and goals have not changed in 20 years? Hand us a copy, we’ll grunt in agreement, and we’re done. Please don’t give us a copy and ask us to Think-Pair-Share with the group about these things. We care about as much as the students care that the floors are waxed. Time saved: At least an hour.

Sounds great

7. We know you want us to get into the groove ASAP with our ISPs and our plans for those in DAEP and ISS. We see we have scheduled ARDs or have paperwork on students that have a BIP.  We also need to look at our STAAR scores, but the 411 is that we are A-OK with actually saying the words. Time saved: Not really applicable, but at least everyone can keep up with what’s being said.

And last, but not least…

Stats

8.  We are not statisticians. Some of us may be able to do statistics under threat, but what we really want to know, in caveman speak even, is ‘You do good’ or ‘You do bad’. That’s it. We are relatively easy to please. Please do not hand us copies of every single test ever taken in the last 15 years and ask us to create and graph the distribution. This is when we suddenly get an ‘urgent’ phone call, or stomach troubles. (By the way, we’re all hanging out in the bathroom, rolling our eyes, heavily sighing, and walking very, very slowly). Time saved: 1 hour